I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
