My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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