I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
