i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think I sprained my soul last night
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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