Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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