Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
