Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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