I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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