so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
