He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
