i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
