great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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