So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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