D3 body, D1 cock
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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