I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
