I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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