I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
