About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
