The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
