Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
