Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
