Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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