So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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