Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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