It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
