no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
