if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize