I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
