He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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