I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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