I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
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