I wish I could punch you in the face.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
