So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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