I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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