Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
