when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
