i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
