i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
