I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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