he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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