By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
