Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
