Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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