Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
