She's like a pop up book from hell.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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