whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
