Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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