He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
