Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
