he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
